"If one wants another only for some self-satisfaction,...,that wrong desire takes the form of lust rather than love." Mortimer Adler
"Love...is not self-seeking." I Cor. 13:5(NIV)
I would like to take the time to introduce a new thought pattern concerning love and lust. We have been taught over the years that the opposite of love is hate. Love is defined as having a strong feeling or affection. Hate, contrarily, is having strong dislike or hostility. Nonetheless, let's broaden our scope on love beyond a feeling and see it as an action. How do we know the wind exists? We see its effects. Emotions are real yet we don't see them. People may have a plethora of emotions towards something or someone, but the proof thereof is in their actions. We know people love us because there is evidence.
Love and hate have become such watered down terms that sometimes people get them confused. The cliche goes "there's a thin line between love and hate". Why? Some people when offended or hurt respond in actions that portray hate, like hostility. So how can you tell if someone truly loves you if that same person turns around and purposely harms you in retaliation?
I believe a litmus test to discover if people truly loves you is how they respond when you hurt them, whether intentionally or unintentionally. A lot of people are in lust with people and not love. For the most part, we see lust solely in the context of a strong sexual desire or a strong desire, like the lust of money. Nonetheless, we should challenge ourselves to look at emotions with their end results or effects. Someone may lust after someone else's spouse or date, why? For their benefit whether it be sexual or emotional. People may lust after money or power, but why? For their benefit, no matter how they acquire it.
The Bible says love doesn't seek after itself, meaning it's not selfish. Let's define love and lust from the standpoints of their end results. Love seeks to sacrifice for someone else's benefit and lust seeks to benefit from someone else's sacrifice. In this context, the people who smear your name, fight you or damage your property because you had disagreements or decided to end relationships are more so distraught over losing whatever you sacrificed for their benefit. They are caught up in selfish, "if I can't have you or what I want, then you will suffer."
Love doesn't repay hurt for hurt. Love covers offenses not exposes them to the detriment of others for its justification or satisfaction. Love isn't arrogant and can admit wrongdoing. Love never fails and overcomes all challenges. There is no expiration date on love.
When entering relationships, we should question ourselves not what we can get out of them or what people can do for us...that would be taking on the perspective of self-serving, ergo lust. We should challenge ourselves to seek how we can benefit other people's lives. I always look to see what benefit I can be in people's lives and especially those I "love". When you love people who have grasped this same concept, you will find yourself in mutually beneficial relationships. If someone is off kilter, it doesn't mean you discard the relationship, you must readjust how you respond to them and recognize what emotion is driving their regard towards you, love or lust.
We can't tell people how to act but we can give them examples by the way we choose to act and respond.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Greater Trials Produce Greater Testimonies
"Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning." Ps. 30:5
"God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, of love and a sound mind." 2 Tim. 1:7
"A righteous man may have many troubles, but God delivers him from them all." Ps. 34:19
It's not a matter of IF challenges will happen, they most definitely will especially when you are on the path to fulfilling your destiny. The greater your assignment or purpose in life, the greater the attacks, tests and tribulations that will come against you. Why are they coming against you? To shut you down. To make you lose focus. To seize your sound mind and ability to make good sound principle-based decisions. To make you rashly respond to external stimuli and run into a pit of destruction. To rob you of your joy, peace, love and faith which are accelerators that enable us to not only accomplish but to overcome all things. In valleys, sometimes it gets so dark, it's humanly impossible to see things right in front of our faces. That's when we have to rely solely on our faith in God and the promises in his Word, like He would never leave us or forsake.
The enemy of our faith will use his best weapons against us the closer we get to the next elevation in our lives, to stunt us or if at all possible make us abort our mission. He wants to disable our gifts and abilities to empower others and establish God's good bidding in the earth. He will use the people closest to us sometimes through situations or circumstances, to try to disable our thoughts and emotions through dark clouds of obscurity and confusion. Every minute of obscurity is a loss of 60 seconds of clarity. If he can get us confused then he can possibly move us off our course. When we are off course, we begin to see things around us in frustration and desperation. We can't tell the difference between a friend and a foe or right and wrong. We begin to respond to the world around us as if everything that happens, every encounter is yet a another sign of whatever is fueling our illogical thinking and reasoning. Sometimes we run to strange places in order to find refuge.
We should run to God. If you don't know where he is, just start running and believe me, he will meet you along the way. He will send someone to you with the word, the hug, the smile or the clarity that you need to get you back on track. They may even have to hold your hand for a part of the trek until you get the clarity back in your sensors.
Weeping MAY endure for a night but it doesn't have to. You can regain your joy at any time you so choose. Surround yourself with people who can bring you back to the light. The more Word you have in you, the quicker you will rebound from any trial, and rebound with a victorious mind!
"God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, of love and a sound mind." 2 Tim. 1:7
"A righteous man may have many troubles, but God delivers him from them all." Ps. 34:19
It's not a matter of IF challenges will happen, they most definitely will especially when you are on the path to fulfilling your destiny. The greater your assignment or purpose in life, the greater the attacks, tests and tribulations that will come against you. Why are they coming against you? To shut you down. To make you lose focus. To seize your sound mind and ability to make good sound principle-based decisions. To make you rashly respond to external stimuli and run into a pit of destruction. To rob you of your joy, peace, love and faith which are accelerators that enable us to not only accomplish but to overcome all things. In valleys, sometimes it gets so dark, it's humanly impossible to see things right in front of our faces. That's when we have to rely solely on our faith in God and the promises in his Word, like He would never leave us or forsake.
The enemy of our faith will use his best weapons against us the closer we get to the next elevation in our lives, to stunt us or if at all possible make us abort our mission. He wants to disable our gifts and abilities to empower others and establish God's good bidding in the earth. He will use the people closest to us sometimes through situations or circumstances, to try to disable our thoughts and emotions through dark clouds of obscurity and confusion. Every minute of obscurity is a loss of 60 seconds of clarity. If he can get us confused then he can possibly move us off our course. When we are off course, we begin to see things around us in frustration and desperation. We can't tell the difference between a friend and a foe or right and wrong. We begin to respond to the world around us as if everything that happens, every encounter is yet a another sign of whatever is fueling our illogical thinking and reasoning. Sometimes we run to strange places in order to find refuge.
We should run to God. If you don't know where he is, just start running and believe me, he will meet you along the way. He will send someone to you with the word, the hug, the smile or the clarity that you need to get you back on track. They may even have to hold your hand for a part of the trek until you get the clarity back in your sensors.
Weeping MAY endure for a night but it doesn't have to. You can regain your joy at any time you so choose. Surround yourself with people who can bring you back to the light. The more Word you have in you, the quicker you will rebound from any trial, and rebound with a victorious mind!
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Living Life With Purpose
"Before I shaped you in the womb, I knew all about you. Before you saw the light of day, I had holy plans for you: A prophet to the nations—that's what I had in mind for you." Jer. 1:5 (The Message)
"Long before he laid down earth's foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son." Eph. 1:4-6 (The Message)
You are an unique piece of a puzzle that fits into the masterpiece of God's plan for this moment of existence. You are not a "being" of coincidence or happenstance, you were created on purpose with a purpose and for a purpose. Nonetheless, you are a free moral agent. You can choose your direction and your path. Once you connect with your Creator, you soon discover that although you have the freedom to do whatever you like, all things are not in your best interest. Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. The deeper connection you have with God and submit to his plan for your life, you will soon discover that he orders your footsteps.
Life is simple, yet sometimes we allow it to become complicated. As we experience life, we begin to assume baggage we were not created to carry. We are not made to go through but to GROW through situations, circumstances and various experiences. Challenges shouldn't weaken us but make us stronger and build our testimony reservoir, which we then share with others for their encouragement and edification.
Whatever you are going through, grow through it, claim the victory, share your testimony and keep moving towards fulfilling your divine purpose.
"Long before he laid down earth's foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son." Eph. 1:4-6 (The Message)
You are an unique piece of a puzzle that fits into the masterpiece of God's plan for this moment of existence. You are not a "being" of coincidence or happenstance, you were created on purpose with a purpose and for a purpose. Nonetheless, you are a free moral agent. You can choose your direction and your path. Once you connect with your Creator, you soon discover that although you have the freedom to do whatever you like, all things are not in your best interest. Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. The deeper connection you have with God and submit to his plan for your life, you will soon discover that he orders your footsteps.
Life is simple, yet sometimes we allow it to become complicated. As we experience life, we begin to assume baggage we were not created to carry. We are not made to go through but to GROW through situations, circumstances and various experiences. Challenges shouldn't weaken us but make us stronger and build our testimony reservoir, which we then share with others for their encouragement and edification.
Whatever you are going through, grow through it, claim the victory, share your testimony and keep moving towards fulfilling your divine purpose.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Having A Victorious Attitude
An attitude is the way we think or feel. Our attitude is normally reflected in our actions and viewpoints. Most tests, trials and tribulations attack us primarily in our minds before they metastasize in the other areas of our lives. The Bible admonishes us to have the same mind (or attitude) as Christ. Through Christ, we know we are victorious in ALL things, yet we often forfeit this victorious life. A victorious attitude is a prerequisite to victorious living.
How We Forfeit a Victorious Attitude:
1. Focusing on the wrong things in our lives and losing sight of our goals and purpose.
2. Associating with the wrong people and allowing their thinking to contaminate ours.
3. Being full of fear which is false evidence that something we don't see will come to past.
4. Being consumed with stress and letting ours minds filter out peace and joy.
5. Inability to deal with change and therefore stunting our growth.
6. Taking our blessings forgranted and therefore limiting God's future provision in our lives.
7. Unwillingness to forgive and release past offenses and carrying them around.
8. Letting low self-esteem have a viral effect in our minds, hearts and spirits.
When we adopt the above, we take on a defeatist attitude. It manifests in our conversations and the way we look at our situations and circumstances. We say what we are going through "will last forever", "my whole life is ruin" and "this only happens to me". Yes, we start hosting pity parties. Nonetheless, self-pity is self-worship. You make yourself the focal point of all attention and you concentrate on your limited abilities and powers. You assert you are the only person who has done or experienced blah, blah. You make yourself a little bigger than the universe. Get over it and yourself.
How to Overcome a Defeatist Attitude:
1. Focus on the right things, things that are uplifting and beneficial to our goals and purpose.
2. Have close association with people who can uplift us and get us refocused on our paths.
3. Exercising our faith and stepping out beyond our comfort zones. Start speaking faith vs fear.
4. Bring peace and joy with us in every situation and circumstance.
5. Learn to grow through change, first changing our minds, speech and then actions.
6. Have a spirit of gratitude for both the small and great things and have a spirit of expectation.
7. Learn to forgive others and then release the emotions attached offenses. Don't carry baggage.
8. Have a healthy self-esteem, neither low nor lofty.
Once we readjust our thinking, then we can truly live each day in victory!
How We Forfeit a Victorious Attitude:
1. Focusing on the wrong things in our lives and losing sight of our goals and purpose.
2. Associating with the wrong people and allowing their thinking to contaminate ours.
3. Being full of fear which is false evidence that something we don't see will come to past.
4. Being consumed with stress and letting ours minds filter out peace and joy.
5. Inability to deal with change and therefore stunting our growth.
6. Taking our blessings forgranted and therefore limiting God's future provision in our lives.
7. Unwillingness to forgive and release past offenses and carrying them around.
8. Letting low self-esteem have a viral effect in our minds, hearts and spirits.
When we adopt the above, we take on a defeatist attitude. It manifests in our conversations and the way we look at our situations and circumstances. We say what we are going through "will last forever", "my whole life is ruin" and "this only happens to me". Yes, we start hosting pity parties. Nonetheless, self-pity is self-worship. You make yourself the focal point of all attention and you concentrate on your limited abilities and powers. You assert you are the only person who has done or experienced blah, blah. You make yourself a little bigger than the universe. Get over it and yourself.
How to Overcome a Defeatist Attitude:
1. Focus on the right things, things that are uplifting and beneficial to our goals and purpose.
2. Have close association with people who can uplift us and get us refocused on our paths.
3. Exercising our faith and stepping out beyond our comfort zones. Start speaking faith vs fear.
4. Bring peace and joy with us in every situation and circumstance.
5. Learn to grow through change, first changing our minds, speech and then actions.
6. Have a spirit of gratitude for both the small and great things and have a spirit of expectation.
7. Learn to forgive others and then release the emotions attached offenses. Don't carry baggage.
8. Have a healthy self-esteem, neither low nor lofty.
Once we readjust our thinking, then we can truly live each day in victory!
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Bread or Stone...Which Would You Give?
"What man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone?" Matthew 7:9
This question is supposed to be rhetorical but sadly to say in a lot of cases the answer would be yes. Let's examine this closer with a look at the words being used to broaden the application of this powerful scripture from the Bible.
This one-liner is taken from a passage in the Bible where the love is God is being metaphorically expressed in comparison to our love for our children. The point of the passage is, if we who are sinners know how to do "right" by our children, how much more should we expect of God, our Father and Creator.
Unfortunately, in this day and time, we cannot assume parents will do "right" by their children. For the sake of this blog, we will use the word "son" in a broader scope as someone with whom you have a relationship. This can be a relative, spouse, close friend, business partner or pastor. Basically someone who has value in your life.
The word "bread" means food. Food is a life sustaining necessity. Therefore "bread" in this passage could mean whatever is of vital importance to sustain life. This can be the life, vitality or longevity of a person, a relationship, organization, or anything where you are invested and connected.
Lastly, a "stone" being given in the place for bread. This would be utterly sardonic to give someone a stone when they are in need of bread. They cannot eat a stone. Nonetheless, thinking about the time period from which this scripture was written. Rendering a stone would not only be an insulting gesture but it could also be a dangerous or deadly gesture.
In biblical times, stones were used to kill people. Sometimes people were "stoned" to death. Let's think about this. Someone you're close to comes to you and asks you for something that may sustain life or the vitality of something, yet instead of giving them what is necessary, you give them give basically nothing. That very stone could be used as a weapon against you. We generally create our own outcomes by the way we think and treat others.
If we assume that the person who has asked you, authentically cares about you and decides to be the "better" person, you might not have to worry about them inflicting harm to you. Nonetheless, that stone might become the condition of their heart towards you. They asked you for life but in exchange you sowed death. That could be death of many things depending on the situation.
If you attend a church and the Pastor comes before you asking for bread (money) and in turn you give a stone (closed fist), you have just contributed to stunting the growth of that ministry. If your business partner asks you for bread (extra time, work, or capital) and in turn you give him a stone (excuses and lackadaisical attitude), then you are contributing to the failure of your business. If your spouse comes to asking you for bread (emotional transparency and communication) and in turn you give him (avoidance and resistance), you are contributing to the demise of your marriage.
It's easy to say we love people and are committed. Nonetheless, how much are you really willing to give to truly express love and commitment. There is no love without sacrifice.
This question is supposed to be rhetorical but sadly to say in a lot of cases the answer would be yes. Let's examine this closer with a look at the words being used to broaden the application of this powerful scripture from the Bible.
This one-liner is taken from a passage in the Bible where the love is God is being metaphorically expressed in comparison to our love for our children. The point of the passage is, if we who are sinners know how to do "right" by our children, how much more should we expect of God, our Father and Creator.
Unfortunately, in this day and time, we cannot assume parents will do "right" by their children. For the sake of this blog, we will use the word "son" in a broader scope as someone with whom you have a relationship. This can be a relative, spouse, close friend, business partner or pastor. Basically someone who has value in your life.
The word "bread" means food. Food is a life sustaining necessity. Therefore "bread" in this passage could mean whatever is of vital importance to sustain life. This can be the life, vitality or longevity of a person, a relationship, organization, or anything where you are invested and connected.
Lastly, a "stone" being given in the place for bread. This would be utterly sardonic to give someone a stone when they are in need of bread. They cannot eat a stone. Nonetheless, thinking about the time period from which this scripture was written. Rendering a stone would not only be an insulting gesture but it could also be a dangerous or deadly gesture.
In biblical times, stones were used to kill people. Sometimes people were "stoned" to death. Let's think about this. Someone you're close to comes to you and asks you for something that may sustain life or the vitality of something, yet instead of giving them what is necessary, you give them give basically nothing. That very stone could be used as a weapon against you. We generally create our own outcomes by the way we think and treat others.
If we assume that the person who has asked you, authentically cares about you and decides to be the "better" person, you might not have to worry about them inflicting harm to you. Nonetheless, that stone might become the condition of their heart towards you. They asked you for life but in exchange you sowed death. That could be death of many things depending on the situation.
If you attend a church and the Pastor comes before you asking for bread (money) and in turn you give a stone (closed fist), you have just contributed to stunting the growth of that ministry. If your business partner asks you for bread (extra time, work, or capital) and in turn you give him a stone (excuses and lackadaisical attitude), then you are contributing to the failure of your business. If your spouse comes to asking you for bread (emotional transparency and communication) and in turn you give him (avoidance and resistance), you are contributing to the demise of your marriage.
It's easy to say we love people and are committed. Nonetheless, how much are you really willing to give to truly express love and commitment. There is no love without sacrifice.
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