A blog to encourage, edify, exhort, and empower people to prosper in the various areas of their mental, emotional and spiritual lives.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Who Do You Turn To?
Questions may flood our minds in various situations and circumstances, like:
"Should I leave or stay?"
"Which way should I go?"
"Is this right or wrong?"
"How long will this last?"
These questions can cross the verticals of life like career, relationships, school, church and etc.
Sometimes we turn to others for counsel, wisdom and insight. That is a wise and prudent thing to do, but be discerning from whom you receive counsel. People's judgement is based off of their limited knowledge and experiences. That's why the Bible advocates to a get a multitude of counsel. Sometimes people become full of scorn and cyncism, and their advice is reeking with the poisons of ignorance, intolerance, unforgiveness, resentment, bitterness, malice, prejudice and stoicism.
When considering who are qualified candidates to give you an extra set of eyes while you travel through the foggy areas of life, make sure they are principle-centered people. Principle-centered people most often won't be spellbound by the "norm du jour"- whatever the popular opinion or practice of the day/moment is.
Also no one person but God is qualified to give you good and fitting counsel in area minuet facet of your life. Nonetheless, a lot of people know of God but are not familiar with his voice, leading or character, so that leaves a vast amount of people having to rely on other mortal flawed beings, like themselves.
When seeking advice, catalog the people in your life by their proven areas of expertise. Sometimes this may good or bad areas. Would you go to a destitute friend with financial stewardship questions? You can go to a broke friend to find out what not to do and a wealthy friend, to find out what to do.
A simple rule, from whomever you are receiving advice, ask yourself, "Would I change places with this person?" Do they have something you want or need. In the Bible, Elisha wanted a double portion of Elijah's annointing. He didn't want his cowardice or melancholy disposition. He saw that which was of God, and that one thing he sought diligently after.
When you want parenting advice go to someone whom you respect their parenting style and the fruit of their labor--their children. When I consider asking someone for advice concerning my children, I look at their children. The bottomline, their children are the by-products of their thoughts and practices. I say to myself, "Do I want my children to be like theirs?" This actually limits the qualified people I would seek after for parenting advice.
When I want financial advice, I look at those in my life who have a proven track record of financial prudence and stewardship. This is not to stay people won't hit rock bottom sometimes but is that their pattern? I have had my credit score hit near zero and now almost 800. It's not where you fall, it's where you stay in life. I listen to experts and friends and ultimately God's spirit on the inside of me. Sometimes His spirit will take you totally opposite of what everyone else is telling you.
In dense foggy areas of life, we must be discerning of whom we're listening to, because in the fog could be an iceberg right in front of us or an avalanche above us. Each step we take while navigating in darkness is crucial.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Seed Your Need
"As long as the earth remains, seedtime and harvest will continue." ~Genesis 8:22
Nature has so many parallels to the human experience. One of the most simple parallels is seedtime and harvest, from it births a universal law (or principle) called reciprocity. Some call it Karma, others say, "what goes around comes around", "you reap what you sow", or "you get what you give." It has been coined different ways but its meaning remains the same, we produce our realities by what we do.
When a farmer wants a potato, he must plant potato seeds. If a farmer want apples, he must plant apple seeds. Take notice that depending on what you want, the sowing and harvesting times will vary. No one plants an apple tree and reap it's fruit in a couple weeks, months or even a year. You can plant tomato seeds and in a couple of month have wonderful tomatoes. Nonetheless, you shouldn't sow what you need when you desperately need it; you sow it BEFORE you need it. If I wanted to make tomato soup, I wouldn't go outside and plant tomato seeds and expect natural laws to forfeit their timing for my needs or desires to have tomato soup tonight or tomorrow.
In this analogy, see yourself as a farmer (sower) and life as your soil. The same is true in life. Reciprocity is a never ending cycle of sowing and reaping. Whatsoever you continuously sow, that will you continuously reap. You can't do it once or twice and abandon it. People are famous for saying "I tried this or that and it didn't work". Did it not work or did you not work it consistently? If you want money, sow money. If you want love, sow love. If you want blessings, be a blessing. If you want peace, bring peace. If you want good health, sow good health practices and habits into yourself. If you never want to be without something make sure you constantly sow it.
This universal law of Reciprocity works for all, whether a believer or non-believer, because God establisehed it and he created us all. If an atheist sows money (invests wisely), the atheist will reap wealth. If a believer sows financial recklessness, then the believer will reap financial calamity.
Things we must consider when trying to optimize our harvests:
1. We must have seeds to sow (talent, time, money, resources, etc)
2. We have to diligently find (research) good ground to sow into. All ground (people and/or entities) aren't good and may be hard or full of weeds and will kill your seed. Also consider yourself as good ground to sow into.
3. We must do our due diligence and cultivate the soil we are sowing into.
4. We must endure the season of "wait" with active faith trusting that we will reap our harvests at the appointed time yet also sowing more seeds into other grounds.
5. We have to reap our harvest, take the fruit and sow the seeds back into the ground.
This is a never-ending cycle. We have to choose to sow because that makes room in our lives to receive. If you are full of wants and desires, release them and fill yourself up with seeds. Fill yourself with ideas and ways you can sow into the lives of others. While you are actively pursuing that, before you know, blessings will overtake you.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Love With No Small Print
The mere words "I love you" have lost their potency because of the unspoken conditions attached to them. Within these conditions lie a large gray area of discrepancies between which intentions and/or actions personify love. People are quick to profess their love but slow to demonstrate it. For those who may demonstrate it, they may have "expiration" dates to their "love". These expiration dates are in the "small print", the conditions. Those conditions are connected to their pleasures, displeasures, acceptance, rejection, approval and disapproval.
-I love you if you do or be who I need you to be.
-I love you as long as you are a source of happiness for me.
-I love you as long as things go my way and you accept my terms, demands, likes and dislikes.
-I love you as long as you look a certain way.
-I love you as long as that love doesn't cost me anything or doesn't inconvenience me.
-I love you as long as I don't have to be accountable or responsible to you for my actions, words and deeds.
Most people's love towards others is indeed self-serving versus self-sacrificing. The bottom line is what can they get out of you versus what can they do for you. When I look at a person from the budding of a potential relationship, I ask myself, "how can I be a blessing or of benefit to this person's life?"
What a beautiful feeling to know the expressed and demonstrated certainty of someone's love. We see this expressed from God towards us and most parents towards their children. How wonderfully reassuring it is for someone to see you, in your entirety-the good, bad and ugly- and say "I love you as you are". This translates to acceptance and freedom.
When you accept someone you allow them to be free to be themselves. Of course, this doesn't mean tolerating junk, garbage and foolishness. We must have standards and live principle-centered lives. Yet, in doing so, we must give "grace and mercy" to others because that they are like us, imperfect.
We all have some more growing and maturing to do. Nevertheless, isn't it comforting to know that if we never reach the actualization of all our ambitions, dreams and prayers, we have people whose love for us is constant and unwavering. That's the kind of love we need and the kind we should seed. For the people I have chosen to love (yes, love is a choice), I've looked beyond their exteriors and saw their interiors. I saw souls that I could love with no conditions and/or expiration dates.
What corrupts the unconditional love covenant is disclosure and transparency. Sometimes opportunists mask who they really are and manipulate you into believing a farce. Love is a choice and we have to KNOW who it is we are choosing to love. Sometimes our intuition or discernment discloses the truth but we ignore the signs. Sometimes we choose to have faith in what is presented before us or innately adopt the theory that we can change people.
Not everyone who comes across our paths is a qualified or equally yoked candidate for "unconditional love." God bestows that kind of love to all of us because we belong to him. Nonetheless, we have to choose Him to be full recipients of that love. Just like we have to choose to love, embrace and accept God, we have to do likewise with others. We have to watch as well as pray for those who are in our lives, both entering and exiting.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Embrace Change
As soon as most people hear the word "change", they attach a negative connotation to it. Change can simply mean something new and/or altered. Nonetheless, we are beings of routine and habit. We nestle ourselves in the comfort of familiarity. Sometimes this is good but sometimes this is bad.
Most often within the invisible confinements of familiarity, we breed lethargic and complacent mentalities. Change means a call to action, yes "work". This work may entail us starting from ground zero all over again or slight modifications and tweaking. Regardless, that means we are going to be required to expend precious commodities like time and energy.
When you see yourself at a stale-mate in life, it's time to make some changes. These changes can range over a gamut of areas. Here are just a few to consider.
1. Relationships: We attract who we are in a lot of cases. If you don't like the pool of people you are attracting, then change that which is within you (attitude or behavior) that attracts them. Who we allow in our lives influence us more than we may give credit. We have to detach ourselves from negative relationships. We cannot continue to make excuses as to why we keep these people in our lives. Going forth, we have to free up that real estate and make room for people who are assigned to our destinies. Some people postured themselves as flowers in our lives but are truly weeds. They are choking the life out of our beautiful gardens and our potential to flourish. We have to kill the weeds and till our soil. There was something that attracted those weeds to us. We must unearth it and change it!
2.Careers: Some people love what they do. Nonetheless a lot of people wake up every day to the reality that they are financially yoked to a job/career which brings them little to no satisfaction. To give your time and talents to something that you don't love is called "work". It's a painstaking effort. When you do what you have passion for, it's not work, it's your calling. You may have degrees or training in a certain field or what you're passionate about might be low-paying or risky. Stop hiding behind the hedges of financial responsibilities, obligations and semblances of success. We have to be honest and selective with our career choices because most people will spend more time working than anything else. If you are dissatisfied or unmotivated where you are, change. You might have to go back to school or get a certification or even relocate. Whatever the cost, it dulls in comparison to waking up every morning for 25-30 years to something you dread.
3. Locations: Sometimes we may get to point in life where we are not happy with our progress. We feel that we should be at a different destination in life. There are numerous variables that may contribute to this, but let's consider one, our geographical location. We live in a world bigger than the city, county, state and country we inadvertently confine ourselves to. It's called relocation, people do it every day. New Jobs, homes, churches, schools and associates are awaiting you wherever you choose to go. Relocation may not be for everyone but it is worth considering if you are in a runt and haven't seen any variation in growth and/or prosperity in your life for a decade or more.
In the sea of life, we are not helpless drifters afloat on the turbulent waves of situations and circumstances, rather we are captains of fortified vessels. We have the power and ability to navigate ourselves in whatever direction we choose. However, if along our journey we discover that we don't like where we are headed, we have the right and authority to CHANGE our direction. Shun the fear of the unknown and embrace change!
Friday, March 13, 2009
Self-Control is Power
A lot of interpersonal issues and problems revolve around one topic: control. Who's controlling who, what, when, where, how and why. Control is synonymous to power. We all are born empowered by our Creator. As we grow and mature, we discover areas in which to exercise our innate sense of dominion. Nonetheless, the most powerful arena in which power can ever be executed is...self-control.
Controlling one's self seems to be such an easy task. Most people would probably assert that they do control themselves, but do we really? Are you really in control of yourself or are you just responding to life? Do other people, situation and circumstances control you? If someone cuts you off in traffic, how do you respond? If a loved one is having a bad day, do you let his/her attitude or words affect you? Someone can't make you hit them or cuss them, your loss of control produces those actions. We only have limited control of situations and circumstances and we have the power of influence over people in our lives. Nevertheless, we cannot control others, we can merely influence their actions but we cannot make them do anything. We can, however, control ourselves at all times!
How do we control ourselves?
1. Our Attitudes
2. Our Responses
3. Our Words
3. Our Bodies/Appetites
4. Our Habits/Influences
Monday, March 2, 2009
In Hot Pursuit of Peace
6. people who are reactive and not in control of their lives
Balancing life in all of its faucets from careers to relationships and everything in between, can at times be an arduous task. Nonetheless, the less conflict, stress or tension we allow to overtake us, opens the gateways to maintaining a peaceful existence.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Faith: Living On The Edge
As children we played the game "Follower the Leader." A simple game of letting someone else, a friend, guide you to an unknown destination. As a child, life is simple as far as our belief systems because we have more trust and less fear. However, as we grow and experience life, we decrease in trust and increase in fear. Nonetheless, in our spiritual walks we begin to learn that faith's nemesis is fear.
Faith is not just believing or trusting intentions and outcomes but putting actions to those beliefs. "Faith without works is dead." Without putting actions to your faith, faith cannot reproduce its fruits in your life. Furthermore, "without faith it's impossible to please God." Nonetheless, as we persevere through life's labyrinth, sometimes our faith is shaken by the different paths we have chosen to travel. Once we have stumbled and fallen repeatedly, we begin to develop an outer shell to protect us from future hurt, pain and disappoint.
This outer shell gives root to fear in our lives and slows us down, even sometimes immobilizing us from being able to act or respond to life in the "right now" time sequence. We become so precautious and skeptical, that we think and talk ourselves out of our blessings, whether that be people or opportunities in our lives. Faith is based on the belief that, that which we hope for will manifest.
Faith says:
-there are no limitations to God's provision in our lives
-we can cast mountains of opposition into the sea, because our God is bigger than our problems
-that the situations or circumstances that we are going through are not only going to pass but that we are going to be better than before on the other side of them
Fear limits us and creates an imaginary prison cell for and tell us that we are sentenced for life. We have to finetune our hearing to our spirit man and follow His guidance. The safest place in the entire world is in the will of God. If He indeed leads you to a cliff, do not let fear of the unknown or dying (suffering the loss of something) forbade you from taking that monumental leap of faith.
God has a track record with you. He had never made a promise that he didn't keep. He's been better to you than you could have been to yourself. When you walked through your valleys of the shadow of death, he encamped his angels around you and kept you from all hurt, harm and danger. Whatever you are afraid to lose, you will lose. When you release yourself from the shackles of fear and say to God, "my life is in your hand"; you can leap off the cliff and realize that your action mixed with your faith just took you to a new plateau in your relationship with your Creator. If he catches you, your faith is renewed in the fact that he will NEVER let you down. If he teaches you how to fly, your faith is renewed in the fact that you have NO limitations in him.