"The hardest thing for people to change is their minds."- DD Jewell
"Static: characterized by lack of movement, animation, or progression." Webster
"Dynamic: marked by continuous productive activity and change." Webster
Life is not static but dynamic and because it is, we too must be dynamic beings. The major ingredient in being dynamic beings is our ability to respond to change and facilitate change. Change is a natural progression that people will encounter in their self-evolution, relationships, and careers. However, everyone does not know how to respond to change.
When you hear the word change, what is the first thing that comes to mind? Do you attach a positive or pejorative connotation to the word "change"? Do you resist change? Do you embrace change? Not all change is good, and not all change is bad; but change is evitable. If an acorn did not change, it would never become an oak tree and thus be able to reproduce itself.
Let's do some self-inventory to see what areas you are willing to change and which areas you are resistant to change. Are you willing to...
1. change your job or profession, if you knew you were unfulfilled and this change would place you into your passion and/or calling?
2. relocate to another city or state, if it meant a better quality of life?
3. alter your diet and eating habits, if it meant increasing your longevity?
4. to change your listening and communication styles, if it meant preserving and maintaining healthy relationships?
5. change your church or place of worship, if it meant you being where God can better use your talents, time, and tithes?
6. change unfruitful friendships, if it meant you releasing people so you can make room for new mutually beneficial relationships?
7. forgiving others who hurt you in the past, if it meant it would allow both you and them to be released to grow?
8. change pre-conceived notions of others different from you, if it meant that you would broaden your horizon and scope in life?
9. to accept the change in others around you, if it meant you would have to still love and respect regardless?
10. change your stance on an issue, if that made you appear to be a hypocrite yet it was really a healthy part of your self-evolution?
Showing posts with label change. Show all posts
Showing posts with label change. Show all posts
Monday, March 22, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
You Are What You Think
"As a man thinks in his heart, so is he." Proverbs 23:7
We are who have convinced ourselves that we are. No actions is without its infancy in a thought, a thought that was pondered that became a decision, that decision then produced actions...whatever actions we put forth create the reactions we receive from the world. A thief said within himself that he was a thief, capable of taking that which does not belong to him, then he decided to act on what he convinced himself he was...stealing is merely the fruit of a conversation he had in his mind.
Some people have convinced themselves that they are failures. Some people have convinced themselves that they need other people to bring them happiness. We often define ourselves by the fruit of poor decision making or problem solving. The world then labels us from our actions. We are trees and others engage us by our fruit--our offspring both literally and figuratively. What are you producing?
The good news is failure is an event and not a person. Unlike anything else God has created, we have the power to change our output. An appleseed will always produce apples, a lion will always be a carnivore. You might make mistakes, but you are not a mistake. You may have made some poor decisions in your life which started a chain of negative events in your life. Surrounded by these mishaps, you convinced yourself that this is your lot in life. WRONG! The hardest part of getting out the prison the mind builds is that we have to choose to be set free. Being set free is not complicated but as simple as "changing your mind."
What we focus on enlarges, what we don't focus on, diminishes. Some people believe that changing their minds about themselves and their circumstances is being phony or "not keeping it real." Yet giving those effluents too much real estate in your mind, contaminates your spirit and tarnishes your self-esteem and sense of empowerment.
If you don't like what you have become, what you have done, or are doing...STOP. Stop thinking you are hellbound versus heaven sent this earth. You are whatever you believe you are. A successful person never became successful contemplating on his or her failures. We all have fallen some time or another, but the story doesn't stop there. GET UP!
On your quest to be the very best you God has endowed you to be, be mindful of who you are surrounding yourself. People are mirrors in our lives. Stop looking into broken mirrors to see clearly who you are, for the image that reflects back is broken. You have to separate yourself from darkness to see your light...but it first begins by you believing that you are light. Sometimes God will actually send people in your life to reflect who you are and encourage you onto your path of becoming...
We are who have convinced ourselves that we are. No actions is without its infancy in a thought, a thought that was pondered that became a decision, that decision then produced actions...whatever actions we put forth create the reactions we receive from the world. A thief said within himself that he was a thief, capable of taking that which does not belong to him, then he decided to act on what he convinced himself he was...stealing is merely the fruit of a conversation he had in his mind.
Some people have convinced themselves that they are failures. Some people have convinced themselves that they need other people to bring them happiness. We often define ourselves by the fruit of poor decision making or problem solving. The world then labels us from our actions. We are trees and others engage us by our fruit--our offspring both literally and figuratively. What are you producing?
The good news is failure is an event and not a person. Unlike anything else God has created, we have the power to change our output. An appleseed will always produce apples, a lion will always be a carnivore. You might make mistakes, but you are not a mistake. You may have made some poor decisions in your life which started a chain of negative events in your life. Surrounded by these mishaps, you convinced yourself that this is your lot in life. WRONG! The hardest part of getting out the prison the mind builds is that we have to choose to be set free. Being set free is not complicated but as simple as "changing your mind."
What we focus on enlarges, what we don't focus on, diminishes. Some people believe that changing their minds about themselves and their circumstances is being phony or "not keeping it real." Yet giving those effluents too much real estate in your mind, contaminates your spirit and tarnishes your self-esteem and sense of empowerment.
If you don't like what you have become, what you have done, or are doing...STOP. Stop thinking you are hellbound versus heaven sent this earth. You are whatever you believe you are. A successful person never became successful contemplating on his or her failures. We all have fallen some time or another, but the story doesn't stop there. GET UP!
On your quest to be the very best you God has endowed you to be, be mindful of who you are surrounding yourself. People are mirrors in our lives. Stop looking into broken mirrors to see clearly who you are, for the image that reflects back is broken. You have to separate yourself from darkness to see your light...but it first begins by you believing that you are light. Sometimes God will actually send people in your life to reflect who you are and encourage you onto your path of becoming...
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Embrace Change
"One of the toughest things for most people to change is their minds."~DD Jewell
As soon as most people hear the word "change", they attach a negative connotation to it. Change can simply mean something new and/or altered. Nonetheless, we are beings of routine and habit. We nestle ourselves in the comfort of familiarity. Sometimes this is good but sometimes this is bad.
Most often within the invisible confinements of familiarity, we breed lethargic and complacent mentalities. Change means a call to action, yes "work". This work may entail us starting from ground zero all over again or slight modifications and tweaking. Regardless, that means we are going to be required to expend precious commodities like time and energy.
When you see yourself at a stale-mate in life, it's time to make some changes. These changes can range over a gamut of areas. Here are just a few to consider.
1. Relationships: We attract who we are in a lot of cases. If you don't like the pool of people you are attracting, then change that which is within you (attitude or behavior) that attracts them. Who we allow in our lives influence us more than we may give credit. We have to detach ourselves from negative relationships. We cannot continue to make excuses as to why we keep these people in our lives. Going forth, we have to free up that real estate and make room for people who are assigned to our destinies. Some people postured themselves as flowers in our lives but are truly weeds. They are choking the life out of our beautiful gardens and our potential to flourish. We have to kill the weeds and till our soil. There was something that attracted those weeds to us. We must unearth it and change it!
2.Careers: Some people love what they do. Nonetheless a lot of people wake up every day to the reality that they are financially yoked to a job/career which brings them little to no satisfaction. To give your time and talents to something that you don't love is called "work". It's a painstaking effort. When you do what you have passion for, it's not work, it's your calling. You may have degrees or training in a certain field or what you're passionate about might be low-paying or risky. Stop hiding behind the hedges of financial responsibilities, obligations and semblances of success. We have to be honest and selective with our career choices because most people will spend more time working than anything else. If you are dissatisfied or unmotivated where you are, change. You might have to go back to school or get a certification or even relocate. Whatever the cost, it dulls in comparison to waking up every morning for 25-30 years to something you dread.
3. Locations: Sometimes we may get to point in life where we are not happy with our progress. We feel that we should be at a different destination in life. There are numerous variables that may contribute to this, but let's consider one, our geographical location. We live in a world bigger than the city, county, state and country we inadvertently confine ourselves to. It's called relocation, people do it every day. New Jobs, homes, churches, schools and associates are awaiting you wherever you choose to go. Relocation may not be for everyone but it is worth considering if you are in a runt and haven't seen any variation in growth and/or prosperity in your life for a decade or more.
In the sea of life, we are not helpless drifters afloat on the turbulent waves of situations and circumstances, rather we are captains of fortified vessels. We have the power and ability to navigate ourselves in whatever direction we choose. However, if along our journey we discover that we don't like where we are headed, we have the right and authority to CHANGE our direction. Shun the fear of the unknown and embrace change!
As soon as most people hear the word "change", they attach a negative connotation to it. Change can simply mean something new and/or altered. Nonetheless, we are beings of routine and habit. We nestle ourselves in the comfort of familiarity. Sometimes this is good but sometimes this is bad.
Most often within the invisible confinements of familiarity, we breed lethargic and complacent mentalities. Change means a call to action, yes "work". This work may entail us starting from ground zero all over again or slight modifications and tweaking. Regardless, that means we are going to be required to expend precious commodities like time and energy.
When you see yourself at a stale-mate in life, it's time to make some changes. These changes can range over a gamut of areas. Here are just a few to consider.
1. Relationships: We attract who we are in a lot of cases. If you don't like the pool of people you are attracting, then change that which is within you (attitude or behavior) that attracts them. Who we allow in our lives influence us more than we may give credit. We have to detach ourselves from negative relationships. We cannot continue to make excuses as to why we keep these people in our lives. Going forth, we have to free up that real estate and make room for people who are assigned to our destinies. Some people postured themselves as flowers in our lives but are truly weeds. They are choking the life out of our beautiful gardens and our potential to flourish. We have to kill the weeds and till our soil. There was something that attracted those weeds to us. We must unearth it and change it!
2.Careers: Some people love what they do. Nonetheless a lot of people wake up every day to the reality that they are financially yoked to a job/career which brings them little to no satisfaction. To give your time and talents to something that you don't love is called "work". It's a painstaking effort. When you do what you have passion for, it's not work, it's your calling. You may have degrees or training in a certain field or what you're passionate about might be low-paying or risky. Stop hiding behind the hedges of financial responsibilities, obligations and semblances of success. We have to be honest and selective with our career choices because most people will spend more time working than anything else. If you are dissatisfied or unmotivated where you are, change. You might have to go back to school or get a certification or even relocate. Whatever the cost, it dulls in comparison to waking up every morning for 25-30 years to something you dread.
3. Locations: Sometimes we may get to point in life where we are not happy with our progress. We feel that we should be at a different destination in life. There are numerous variables that may contribute to this, but let's consider one, our geographical location. We live in a world bigger than the city, county, state and country we inadvertently confine ourselves to. It's called relocation, people do it every day. New Jobs, homes, churches, schools and associates are awaiting you wherever you choose to go. Relocation may not be for everyone but it is worth considering if you are in a runt and haven't seen any variation in growth and/or prosperity in your life for a decade or more.
In the sea of life, we are not helpless drifters afloat on the turbulent waves of situations and circumstances, rather we are captains of fortified vessels. We have the power and ability to navigate ourselves in whatever direction we choose. However, if along our journey we discover that we don't like where we are headed, we have the right and authority to CHANGE our direction. Shun the fear of the unknown and embrace change!
Friday, February 20, 2009
Healing from Self-Negligence
Considering we keep 24/7 company with ourselves, it is deeply painful to put up with someone we don't get along with. Someone whose motives and actions are suspect, who we are convinced will goof up, who we cannot trust to get us safely through life. The sense of being a divided self, one part at war with the other, is so deeply painful that it is at the root of most neuroses and psychoses.~Suma Varughese
In the movie, 7 Pounds, Tim Thomas's negligence in a car accident takes the lives of 7 people, including his beloved wife. In an act of self-redemption, he takes on the identity of his brother “Ben, and searches for 7 deserving people to whom he can give “7 pounds of flesh” (i.e. Organs) as gifts of life. In his final act of redemption, he sacrifices his life so a new love can live. Sounds extremely noble, Self-Sacrifice and Redemption. He admits to his love interest Emily, “I haven't been pretty good to myself.” His body wore the scars of his "sacrifices". Good plot for a movie but no need for martyrdom. Christ made the ultimate sacrifice by which all are candidates for redemption. Isn't that good news!
We all make mistakes and as life goes on will continue to, however hopefully less. Some are indeed catastrophic and fatal and may have a trickle down effect on not only us but the ones we love. Nonetheless, we have to learn how not to drown ourselves in the shame of those mistakes, and therefore make even bigger ones that may be fatal. The first love is self-love, yet and still sometimes we don't embrace it. We see it as selfishness. How does a mother take care of her infant growing inside if first she doesn't take care of herself? Nonetheless, we neglect ourselves and say it's in the name of love. We sin against ourselves.
How do we violate ourselves:
1. Not making ourselves a priority, throwing life jackets to the world but drowning ourselves.
2. Not taking time to purge and heal from offenses, trying to self-heal.
3. Overextending ourselves until our well runs dry.
4. Not taking care of our affairs, letting things get out of control.
5. Holding onto unforgiveness and resentment.
6. Surrounding ourselves with negative influences.
7. Violating and not adhering to universal principles by which to guide our lives.
8. Using vices to relieve pain and stress but never seeking help and healing.
9. Not placing a value on our self-worth.
10. Resisting the various cycles of maturation and growth in our lives.
11. Refraining from cutting off unhealthy relationships.
12. Not embracing peace by releasing things that are out of our control.
13. Limiting God's provision for us through other people.
14. Always reacting to life instead of being proactive.
15. Allowing ourselves to become victims instead of victors.
16. Not releasing or forgiving ourselves when we err.
In the movie, 7 Pounds, Tim Thomas's negligence in a car accident takes the lives of 7 people, including his beloved wife. In an act of self-redemption, he takes on the identity of his brother “Ben, and searches for 7 deserving people to whom he can give “7 pounds of flesh” (i.e. Organs) as gifts of life. In his final act of redemption, he sacrifices his life so a new love can live. Sounds extremely noble, Self-Sacrifice and Redemption. He admits to his love interest Emily, “I haven't been pretty good to myself.” His body wore the scars of his "sacrifices". Good plot for a movie but no need for martyrdom. Christ made the ultimate sacrifice by which all are candidates for redemption. Isn't that good news!
We all make mistakes and as life goes on will continue to, however hopefully less. Some are indeed catastrophic and fatal and may have a trickle down effect on not only us but the ones we love. Nonetheless, we have to learn how not to drown ourselves in the shame of those mistakes, and therefore make even bigger ones that may be fatal. The first love is self-love, yet and still sometimes we don't embrace it. We see it as selfishness. How does a mother take care of her infant growing inside if first she doesn't take care of herself? Nonetheless, we neglect ourselves and say it's in the name of love. We sin against ourselves.
How do we violate ourselves:
1. Not making ourselves a priority, throwing life jackets to the world but drowning ourselves.
2. Not taking time to purge and heal from offenses, trying to self-heal.
3. Overextending ourselves until our well runs dry.
4. Not taking care of our affairs, letting things get out of control.
5. Holding onto unforgiveness and resentment.
6. Surrounding ourselves with negative influences.
7. Violating and not adhering to universal principles by which to guide our lives.
8. Using vices to relieve pain and stress but never seeking help and healing.
9. Not placing a value on our self-worth.
10. Resisting the various cycles of maturation and growth in our lives.
11. Refraining from cutting off unhealthy relationships.
12. Not embracing peace by releasing things that are out of our control.
13. Limiting God's provision for us through other people.
14. Always reacting to life instead of being proactive.
15. Allowing ourselves to become victims instead of victors.
16. Not releasing or forgiving ourselves when we err.
All of these things can bring unnecessary burdens and stresses into our lives. When we have sinned against ourselves it begins to show in various areas, our health, our attitudes, our dispositions, our homes, and our relationships. We begin to ridicule people who do love themselves and hate on them for no sound reasons at all. We are irritated by our peers' successes in life. We become like Adam and Eve in the garden, we begin to hide ourselves away from those who love us most. We try to cut ourselves off, numbing ourselves to those things we lack and ignore or avoid them.
We don't feel deserving of love or amnesty yet we desperately need them. It is harder to cover up things than to expose them. Nonetheless, our pride and shame dictate that we cover up. This cover up usually begins a web of lies and deceit as we try to mask our ills and problems. Instead of Tim forgiving himself and perhaps opening up a non-profit that facilitated giving life to many or millions through various veins, he let guilt eat away at him. Guilt is the worse company to keep. Don't entertain guilt too long because it will have you isolated and very alone in places very deep inside. Guilt does not give wise counsel, it brings about self-damnation if harbored. It's almost like a computer virus, very hard to rid and sometimes corrupts our hard drives.
The Solutions
1.Identify the problems and deal with them head on. Don't ignore or avoid them, they won't go away. They will only get worse.
2. Come out of the bushes of shame, guilt and pride. Stopping hiding and confess your errs to those who mean the most. Don't let your errs drive a wedge of confusion between you and them that could be mistaken for something else. Most often you won't lose their respect but gain it.
3. Allow God to send you beckons of life and love to you to empower you to prosper in the various areas of your life which you have neglected.
4.Embrace the positivity that all things are possible and will (not perhaps) work together for your good.
5. Make a road map for change and enact it as soon as possible.
6. Embrace wisdom, instruction and correction.
We have to learn to love ourselves because we are gifts from God, each of us possess a multiplicity of seeds of blessings, ideas and opportunities ready to be sown into the Earth. We have to love ourselves and become our own best friends. When we love ourselves, we don't hurt or neglect ourselves. When we chose to love ourselves we won't pine so much for the love of others. We can be at harmony with ourselves and live life to our standards and not lower ours to others', just because we shun being alone. We learn how to maintain our physical, mental, and spiritual health. We place value on our good name from our finances to our integrity. This is your lease on life, make the best out of it and enjoy it to the fullest.
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