Lust: The Opposite of Love

"If one wants another only for some self-satisfaction,...,that wrong desire takes the form of lust rather than love." Mortimer Adler
"Love...is not self-seeking." I Cor. 13:5(NIV)

I would like to take the time to introduce a new thought pattern concerning love and lust. We have been taught over the years that the opposite of love is hate. Love is defined as having a strong feeling or affection. Hate, contrarily, is having strong dislike or hostility. Nonetheless, let's broaden our scope on love beyond a feeling and see it as an action. How do we know the wind exists? We see its effects. Emotions are real yet we don't see them. People may have a plethora of emotions towards something or someone, but the proof thereof is in their actions. We know people love us because there is evidence.

Love and hate have become such watered down terms that sometimes people get them confused. The cliche goes "there's a thin line between love and hate". Why? Some people when offended or hurt respond in actions that portray hate, like hostility. So how can you tell if someone truly loves you if that same person turns around and purposely harms you in retaliation?

I believe a litmus test to discover if people truly loves you is how they respond when you hurt them, whether intentionally or unintentionally. A lot of people are in lust with people and not love. For the most part, we see lust solely in the context of a strong sexual desire or a strong desire, like the lust of money. Nonetheless, we should challenge ourselves to look at emotions with their end results or effects. Someone may lust after someone else's spouse or date, why? For their benefit whether it be sexual or emotional. People may lust after money or power, but why? For their benefit, no matter how they acquire it.

The Bible says love doesn't seek after itself, meaning it's not selfish. Let's define love and lust from the standpoints of their end results. Love seeks to sacrifice for someone else's benefit and lust seeks to benefit from someone else's sacrifice. In this context, the people who smear your name, fight you or damage your property because you had disagreements or decided to end relationships are more so distraught over losing whatever you sacrificed for their benefit. They are caught up in selfish, "if I can't have you or what I want, then you will suffer."

Love doesn't repay hurt for hurt. Love covers offenses not exposes them to the detriment of others for its justification or satisfaction. Love isn't arrogant and can admit wrongdoing. Love never fails and overcomes all challenges. There is no expiration date on love.

When entering relationships, we should question ourselves not what we can get out of them or what people can do for us...that would be taking on the perspective of self-serving, ergo lust. We should challenge ourselves to seek how we can benefit other people's lives. I always look to see what benefit I can be in people's lives and especially those I "love". When you love people who have grasped this same concept, you will find yourself in mutually beneficial relationships. If someone is off kilter, it doesn't mean you discard the relationship, you must readjust how you respond to them and recognize what emotion is driving their regard towards you, love or lust.

We can't tell people how to act but we can give them examples by the way we choose to act and respond.