Out Of Control Heading In New Directions

We are a people of purpose however our purpose comes in phases and seasons. Sometimes we travel certain roads and highways to reach temporary destinations in our trek of fulfilling our God given purpose. Some stops are longer than others but at some point we have to move on. We as people don't respond well to change especially
when it's forced upon us. We are control freaks to a certain extent. By nature we navigate our lives through our lenses and means, this is called My Way. My Way can get us far but undoubtedly will not get us to where God wants us. Nonetheless, because traveling God's way relies on us activating FAITH, our bottom-line becomes "my way or no way." We don't want to lose control. We fear that if we don't know the details or destination of our direction we will get lost or simply fail to arrive. However, in this next phase of your life, you are going to have to release your control and rely on that which you can't see, guess, or calculate. We are going to have to autotune our spiritual man and simply trust that "it will be" what "it needs to be".

When we get to the point in our lives when we abandon passenger-seat driving and allow our GPS (God's Positioning System) to activate in our lives--his spirit, then we can truly live by faith and not fear. Fear causes us to clinch and form fists of fears, fighting for control, BUT FAITH causes us to release FAITH and open our hands to both give and receive. So yes, if there's been a nagging at your spirit that you need to leave...(what, where, or who) it's time to head in a new direction to an unknown destination. For some, you have to make a complete U-Turn and rebuild bridges that were "burned". For others, you may need to just call that person that God told you has a "lifeline" for you and pull you completely out of where you are now. Yes, this is scary because drastic changes in your life will definitely cause others to question you and your sanity. However, others need to see your trials so they can also witness your testimonies. Don't be askance by others' commentary, people are always going to talk about those things that don't make sense to them (foolishness) BUT we know the things that don't make sense to us make perfect sense to God. I rather walk in God's foolishness than man's wisdom.

What is your change orientation?

"The hardest thing for people to change is their minds."- DD Jewell
"Static: characterized by lack of movement, animation, or progression." Webster
"Dynamic: marked by continuous productive activity and change." Webster

Life is not static but dynamic and because it is, we too must be dynamic beings. The major ingredient in being dynamic beings is our ability to respond to change and facilitate change. Change is a natural progression that people will encounter in their self-evolution, relationships, and careers. However, everyone does not know how to respond to change.

When you hear the word change, what is the first thing that comes to mind? Do you attach a positive or pejorative connotation to the word "change"? Do you resist change? Do you embrace change? Not all change is good, and not all change is bad; but change is evitable. If an acorn did not change, it would never become an oak tree and thus be able to reproduce itself.

Let's do some self-inventory to see what areas you are willing to change and which areas you are resistant to change. Are you willing to...

1. change your job or profession, if you knew you were unfulfilled and this change would place you into your passion and/or calling?
2. relocate to another city or state, if it meant a better quality of life?
3. alter your diet and eating habits, if it meant increasing your longevity?
4. to change your listening and communication styles, if it meant preserving and maintaining healthy relationships?
5. change your church or place of worship, if it meant you being where God can better use your talents, time, and tithes?
6. change unfruitful friendships, if it meant you releasing people so you can make room for new mutually beneficial relationships?
7. forgiving others who hurt you in the past, if it meant it would allow both you and them to be released to grow?
8. change pre-conceived notions of others different from you, if it meant that you would broaden your horizon and scope in life?
9. to accept the change in others around you, if it meant you would have to still love and respect regardless?
10. change your stance on an issue, if that made you appear to be a hypocrite yet it was really a healthy part of your self-evolution?

You Are What You Think

"As a man thinks in his heart, so is he." Proverbs 23:7

We are who have convinced ourselves that we are. No actions is without its infancy in a thought, a thought that was pondered that became a decision, that decision then produced actions...whatever actions we put forth create the reactions we receive from the world. A thief said within himself that he was a thief, capable of taking that which does not belong to him, then he decided to act on what he convinced himself he was...stealing is merely the fruit of a conversation he had in his mind.

Some people have convinced themselves that they are failures. Some people have convinced themselves that they need other people to bring them happiness. We often define ourselves by the fruit of poor decision making or problem solving. The world then labels us from our actions. We are trees and others engage us by our fruit--our offspring both literally and figuratively. What are you producing?

The good news is failure is an event and not a person. Unlike anything else God has created, we have the power to change our output. An appleseed will always produce apples, a lion will always be a carnivore. You might make mistakes, but you are not a mistake. You may have made some poor decisions in your life which started a chain of negative events in your life. Surrounded by these mishaps, you convinced yourself that this is your lot in life. WRONG! The hardest part of getting out the prison the mind builds is that we have to choose to be set free. Being set free is not complicated but as simple as "changing your mind."

What we focus on enlarges, what we don't focus on, diminishes. Some people believe that changing their minds about themselves and their circumstances is being phony or "not keeping it real." Yet giving those effluents too much real estate in your mind, contaminates your spirit and tarnishes your self-esteem and sense of empowerment.

If you don't like what you have become, what you have done, or are doing...STOP. Stop thinking you are hellbound versus heaven sent this earth. You are whatever you believe you are. A successful person never became successful contemplating on his or her failures. We all have fallen some time or another, but the story doesn't stop there. GET UP!

On your quest to be the very best you God has endowed you to be, be mindful of who you are surrounding yourself. People are mirrors in our lives. Stop looking into broken mirrors to see clearly who you are, for the image that reflects back is broken. You have to separate yourself from darkness to see your light...but it first begins by you believing that you are light. Sometimes God will actually send people in your life to reflect who you are and encourage you onto your path of becoming...

Are You Ready For Your Heart's Desires?

“Happiness isn't getting what you want, it's wanting what you've got.”-anon

"You change your life by changing your heart.”-anon

“In prayer it is better to have a heart without words than words without a heart.”-Ghandi

People in general live in a vacuum called "want". As soon as they get one thing, they want another. Some people hoped and wished for a higher-paying job and then after they got that job, they set their eyes on another one. Some people want a new car, a new house, or a new relationship yet when they get those "heart-felt" desires, the satisfaction lasts for only fleeting moments.

There are some desires that outweigh others, like finding that someone special or having children. For some people these type of desires are not so easily manifested. Nonetheless, these desires drive their conversations, attitudes, opinions and outlook on life. They may feel that if they had this "missing link" that their lives would somehow be fulfilled or so blissfully happy.

Nonetheless, desire alone does not make a person a qualified candidate for fulfillment of certain desires. Just because your 13 year old son wants a car doesn't make him qualified, skilled, or mature enough to drive or maintain a vehicle. Nonetheless, adults sometimes fall into an array of delusion to think because they want something that they should have it (even if they are not qualified).

For example, you may want a child but are you qualified to provide for that child physically, financially, emotionally, or psychologically? Would you do more harm than good? Parenting is not a hundred-dash but a marathon. You may want the spouse of your dreams. Nonetheless, are you qualified to be the spouse of her or his dreams? What are you bringing to the table? Lopsided relationships are draining and lead to failure. Low self-esteem, selfishness,inflexibility, financial imprudence, lack of communication, promoscuity, are all impediments one can bring into their "dream" and thus turning it into a nightmare for the other person.

Are you truly ready for the manfiestation of your heart's desires? Are you ready to maintain that larger house, pay for that higher car note, be that role model for that child, or assume the extra responsibility and visibility with that new position?

One of the worse feelings is to have that manifestation actualize and you find yourself ill-equipped to receive and enjoy it to the fullest. Life is about preparation. While you are in one season in your life, you should always be preparing for the next season. Don't let your emotions get you sidetracked. What you are experiencing today is temporary, so don't get caught up with all the drama life brings. If you do, you will be caught off guard when God brings your heart's desires. You won't be able to appreciate them like you should. Stay focused. That's why the bible admonishes us to look up toward the hill...stay focus on the prize and not all the distractions and nuisances of life.

Relationships: To Stay or Not To Stay

"To thin own self be true."~Shakespeare

"If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything."~Mark Twain

Why do people stay in unfulfilling relationships? People spend a vast majority of their lives in the context of roles performed in relationships. They are born into some of these roles like child and sibling. Others roles they assume like parent, child and friend. We don't pick who are parents are but we can pick who our friends and spouses are.

Romantic relationships appear to be the easiest relationships to enter and the most devastating to end. People find themselves in romantic relationships for many reasons but when those relationships progress to marriages that falter, people don't know how to leave. A major reason why people have difficulty leaving unhealthy marriages is because of their primary reasons for entering the marriages in the first place. Let's discuss some of the reasons why people marry:

Complacency: Some people get married because they have known each other for a long time and they are comfortable with the normalcy of that relationship and whatever degree of drama it has. To get married after so many years together appears to be the natural progression. Nonetheless, marriage has no magic wand, whatever issues you bring to the marriage altar the same issues will depart with you. If you are unfaithful prior to saying "I do" you will continue to be unfaithful after you say "I do". If you don't know who to effectively communicate and resolve conflict before your nuptials, then the same issues will persist. Marriage is not a natural progression in life and you do not have to be married. Marriage is not for everyone. Marriage is a beautiful divine plan for never-ending reciprocating love to be experienced by people who are "right" for each other.

Children: Some people get married because they had children (unwed) or want to start a family. If this is their reasoning then this will be their reasoning for staying in a hopeless marriage. You don't marry your children, you marry another person. Your marriage then serves as an example for your children. This example can be good or bad. Staying together for the children yields nothing but children who end up replicating the same mistakes their parents made or children who shun marriage because of what they saw growing up. Children are more resilient than parents give them credit. Some adults suffer trauma from their childhoods and project this onto their children and think the worse case scenarios if they divorce. Therefore they sacrifice their happiness for the sake of their children. Children need examples of reality not fairy tales. Children need to know life throws curve balls and how to bounce back after them. Parents have to have "real talk" with their children and empower their children to succeed regardless of whatever choices they make.

Finances: Some people get married because they want more things. They want to combine what they have with someone else to be able to have more in life. It's for that same reason they will stay with those people; they don't want to divide their things. If you divide the pie you're going to cry but if you don't divide the pie a part of you will die. The love of money is the root to ALL evil. Two are definitely better than one, but two half people don't make a whole person. Money is essential to life but not a reason to marry. Many people find themselves surrounded by all the things they wanted but not experiencing the fulfillment they idealized. Money is a seed and if you release it, it will grow. Don't be hellbound trying to hold onto to a dollar and end up losing the wealth that awaits you. Sometimes you have to cut off those things in your life that are unyielding in order to experience exponential growth.

Sex: Some people marry to have guaranteed or legalized sex. Nonetheless, many people experience that sex isn't guaranteed in marriages. Sometimes people have less sex married then what they did before they got married. Some people use sex to bait others into marriage but don't really have sexual compatibility. Sex is a method of communication and you have to make sure you and the other person are on the same frequency. If not, you will find yourself going from fornicating to adultery. There are no great or small sins. Sin is sin. Because you get married doesn't mean you are without sin. There are people who believe God honors their marriage vows but God honors vows attached to your heart. While man looks at the outside facade of marriages, God judges marriages by the hearts of the people. A marriage license doesn't honor God but having a clean heart--one free of bitterness, resentment,& unforgiveness--honors God. You are God's child before you are someone's spouse. God's number one priority will be you and the condition of your heart. God cannot use us when our hearts are hardened. That's why He permits divorce because of the hardening of people's hearts.

No one can tell you when to stay or when to leave but you already know the answer. Be true to yourself. Don't live a facade, you've been given life and you need to live it to its fullest.

Lust: The Opposite of Love

"If one wants another only for some self-satisfaction,...,that wrong desire takes the form of lust rather than love." Mortimer Adler
"Love...is not self-seeking." I Cor. 13:5(NIV)

I would like to take the time to introduce a new thought pattern concerning love and lust. We have been taught over the years that the opposite of love is hate. Love is defined as having a strong feeling or affection. Hate, contrarily, is having strong dislike or hostility. Nonetheless, let's broaden our scope on love beyond a feeling and see it as an action. How do we know the wind exists? We see its effects. Emotions are real yet we don't see them. People may have a plethora of emotions towards something or someone, but the proof thereof is in their actions. We know people love us because there is evidence.

Love and hate have become such watered down terms that sometimes people get them confused. The cliche goes "there's a thin line between love and hate". Why? Some people when offended or hurt respond in actions that portray hate, like hostility. So how can you tell if someone truly loves you if that same person turns around and purposely harms you in retaliation?

I believe a litmus test to discover if people truly loves you is how they respond when you hurt them, whether intentionally or unintentionally. A lot of people are in lust with people and not love. For the most part, we see lust solely in the context of a strong sexual desire or a strong desire, like the lust of money. Nonetheless, we should challenge ourselves to look at emotions with their end results or effects. Someone may lust after someone else's spouse or date, why? For their benefit whether it be sexual or emotional. People may lust after money or power, but why? For their benefit, no matter how they acquire it.

The Bible says love doesn't seek after itself, meaning it's not selfish. Let's define love and lust from the standpoints of their end results. Love seeks to sacrifice for someone else's benefit and lust seeks to benefit from someone else's sacrifice. In this context, the people who smear your name, fight you or damage your property because you had disagreements or decided to end relationships are more so distraught over losing whatever you sacrificed for their benefit. They are caught up in selfish, "if I can't have you or what I want, then you will suffer."

Love doesn't repay hurt for hurt. Love covers offenses not exposes them to the detriment of others for its justification or satisfaction. Love isn't arrogant and can admit wrongdoing. Love never fails and overcomes all challenges. There is no expiration date on love.

When entering relationships, we should question ourselves not what we can get out of them or what people can do for us...that would be taking on the perspective of self-serving, ergo lust. We should challenge ourselves to seek how we can benefit other people's lives. I always look to see what benefit I can be in people's lives and especially those I "love". When you love people who have grasped this same concept, you will find yourself in mutually beneficial relationships. If someone is off kilter, it doesn't mean you discard the relationship, you must readjust how you respond to them and recognize what emotion is driving their regard towards you, love or lust.

We can't tell people how to act but we can give them examples by the way we choose to act and respond.

Greater Trials Produce Greater Testimonies

"Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning." Ps. 30:5

"God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, of love and a sound mind." 2 Tim. 1:7

"A righteous man may have many troubles, but God delivers him from them all." Ps. 34:19

It's not a matter of IF challenges will happen, they most definitely will especially when you are on the path to fulfilling your destiny. The greater your assignment or purpose in life, the greater the attacks, tests and tribulations that will come against you. Why are they coming against you? To shut you down. To make you lose focus. To seize your sound mind and ability to make good sound principle-based decisions. To make you rashly respond to external stimuli and run into a pit of destruction. To rob you of your joy, peace, love and faith which are accelerators that enable us to not only accomplish but to overcome all things. In valleys, sometimes it gets so dark, it's humanly impossible to see things right in front of our faces. That's when we have to rely solely on our faith in God and the promises in his Word, like He would never leave us or forsake.

The enemy of our faith will use his best weapons against us the closer we get to the next elevation in our lives, to stunt us or if at all possible make us abort our mission. He wants to disable our gifts and abilities to empower others and establish God's good bidding in the earth. He will use the people closest to us sometimes through situations or circumstances, to try to disable our thoughts and emotions through dark clouds of obscurity and confusion. Every minute of obscurity is a loss of 60 seconds of clarity. If he can get us confused then he can possibly move us off our course. When we are off course, we begin to see things around us in frustration and desperation. We can't tell the difference between a friend and a foe or right and wrong. We begin to respond to the world around us as if everything that happens, every encounter is yet a another sign of whatever is fueling our illogical thinking and reasoning. Sometimes we run to strange places in order to find refuge.

We should run to God. If you don't know where he is, just start running and believe me, he will meet you along the way. He will send someone to you with the word, the hug, the smile or the clarity that you need to get you back on track. They may even have to hold your hand for a part of the trek until you get the clarity back in your sensors.

Weeping MAY endure for a night but it doesn't have to. You can regain your joy at any time you so choose. Surround yourself with people who can bring you back to the light. The more Word you have in you, the quicker you will rebound from any trial, and rebound with a victorious mind!

Living Life With Purpose

"Before I shaped you in the womb, I knew all about you. Before you saw the light of day, I had holy plans for you: A prophet to the nations—that's what I had in mind for you." Jer. 1:5 (The Message)

"Long before he laid down earth's foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son." Eph. 1:4-6 (The Message)

You are an unique piece of a puzzle that fits into the masterpiece of God's plan for this moment of existence. You are not a "being" of coincidence or happenstance, you were created on purpose with a purpose and for a purpose. Nonetheless, you are a free moral agent. You can choose your direction and your path. Once you connect with your Creator, you soon discover that although you have the freedom to do whatever you like, all things are not in your best interest. Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. The deeper connection you have with God and submit to his plan for your life, you will soon discover that he orders your footsteps.

Life is simple, yet sometimes we allow it to become complicated. As we experience life, we begin to assume baggage we were not created to carry. We are not made to go through but to GROW through situations, circumstances and various experiences. Challenges shouldn't weaken us but make us stronger and build our testimony reservoir, which we then share with others for their encouragement and edification.

Whatever you are going through, grow through it, claim the victory, share your testimony and keep moving towards fulfilling your divine purpose.

Having A Victorious Attitude

An attitude is the way we think or feel. Our attitude is normally reflected in our actions and viewpoints. Most tests, trials and tribulations attack us primarily in our minds before they metastasize in the other areas of our lives. The Bible admonishes us to have the same mind (or attitude) as Christ. Through Christ, we know we are victorious in ALL things, yet we often forfeit this victorious life. A victorious attitude is a prerequisite to victorious living.

How We Forfeit a Victorious Attitude:
1. Focusing on the wrong things in our lives and losing sight of our goals and purpose.
2. Associating with the wrong people and allowing their thinking to contaminate ours.
3. Being full of fear which is false evidence that something we don't see will come to past.
4. Being consumed with stress and letting ours minds filter out peace and joy.
5. Inability to deal with change and therefore stunting our growth.
6. Taking our blessings forgranted and therefore limiting God's future provision in our lives.
7. Unwillingness to forgive and release past offenses and carrying them around.
8. Letting low self-esteem have a viral effect in our minds, hearts and spirits.

When we adopt the above, we take on a defeatist attitude. It manifests in our conversations and the way we look at our situations and circumstances. We say what we are going through "will last forever", "my whole life is ruin" and "this only happens to me". Yes, we start hosting pity parties. Nonetheless, self-pity is self-worship. You make yourself the focal point of all attention and you concentrate on your limited abilities and powers. You assert you are the only person who has done or experienced blah, blah. You make yourself a little bigger than the universe. Get over it and yourself.

How to Overcome a Defeatist Attitude:
1. Focus on the right things, things that are uplifting and beneficial to our goals and purpose.
2. Have close association with people who can uplift us and get us refocused on our paths.
3. Exercising our faith and stepping out beyond our comfort zones. Start speaking faith vs fear.
4. Bring peace and joy with us in every situation and circumstance.
5. Learn to grow through change, first changing our minds, speech and then actions.
6. Have a spirit of gratitude for both the small and great things and have a spirit of expectation.
7. Learn to forgive others and then release the emotions attached offenses. Don't carry baggage.
8. Have a healthy self-esteem, neither low nor lofty.

Once we readjust our thinking, then we can truly live each day in victory!

Bread or Stone...Which Would You Give?

"What man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone?" Matthew 7:9

This question is supposed to be rhetorical but sadly to say in a lot of cases the answer would be yes. Let's examine this closer with a look at the words being used to broaden the application of this powerful scripture from the Bible.

This one-liner is taken from a passage in the Bible where the love is God is being metaphorically expressed in comparison to our love for our children. The point of the passage is, if we who are sinners know how to do "right" by our children, how much more should we expect of God, our Father and Creator.

Unfortunately, in this day and time, we cannot assume parents will do "right" by their children. For the sake of this blog, we will use the word "son" in a broader scope as someone with whom you have a relationship. This can be a relative, spouse, close friend, business partner or pastor. Basically someone who has value in your life.

The word "bread" means food. Food is a life sustaining necessity. Therefore "bread" in this passage could mean whatever is of vital importance to sustain life. This can be the life, vitality or longevity of a person, a relationship, organization, or anything where you are invested and connected.

Lastly, a "stone" being given in the place for bread. This would be utterly sardonic to give someone a stone when they are in need of bread. They cannot eat a stone. Nonetheless, thinking about the time period from which this scripture was written. Rendering a stone would not only be an insulting gesture but it could also be a dangerous or deadly gesture.

In biblical times, stones were used to kill people. Sometimes people were "stoned" to death. Let's think about this. Someone you're close to comes to you and asks you for something that may sustain life or the vitality of something, yet instead of giving them what is necessary, you give them give basically nothing. That very stone could be used as a weapon against you. We generally create our own outcomes by the way we think and treat others.

If we assume that the person who has asked you, authentically cares about you and decides to be the "better" person, you might not have to worry about them inflicting harm to you. Nonetheless, that stone might become the condition of their heart towards you. They asked you for life but in exchange you sowed death. That could be death of many things depending on the situation.

If you attend a church and the Pastor comes before you asking for bread (money) and in turn you give a stone (closed fist), you have just contributed to stunting the growth of that ministry. If your business partner asks you for bread (extra time, work, or capital) and in turn you give him a stone (excuses and lackadaisical attitude), then you are contributing to the failure of your business. If your spouse comes to asking you for bread (emotional transparency and communication) and in turn you give him (avoidance and resistance), you are contributing to the demise of your marriage.

It's easy to say we love people and are committed. Nonetheless, how much are you really willing to give to truly express love and commitment. There is no love without sacrifice.

In Love, We Usually Find Ourselves

The adage goes "opposites attract", and in a lot of cases this scientific theory can be applied to human relations. However, in most recent times, even scientific theories have been proven not to be absolute. Opposite gender, race and personalities and so forth may attract in general. On the other hand, when regarding human compatibility we take notice that it is usually those things that are opposite that can potentially detract from the relationship, especially when it comes to principles and general mindsets.

Differences can enhance a relationship especially when those differences are strengths where the other person has challenges. If a person is impetuous, they can benefit a lot from a person who has more patience and temperance. However, when it comes to the rudimentary components of life and what people adhere to their core belief systems and standards of living, antagonism is not a match but an annoyance.

God created us in His image. Why was it necessary to create man? Perhaps, He wanted an intimate relationship, someone he could be in love with and someone who could choose to love him back. Therefore, God created a being that reflects himself because He loves himself. God is love. If you love yourself, then what better person to love and spend your life with then someone who reflects you. It would appear easier to live in harmony with such a person.

This does not mean we have to be identical, but perhaps of the same basic makeup and element. This gives weight to the adages of "iron sharpening iron" (like element) or "how can two walk together unless they agree" (mindsets, beliefs, temperaments). Since no two people are clones, where both are individually challenged, perhaps they may strengthen each other or at least be able to understand one another. Where one might lack knowledge or wherewithall, the other may balance that. When people are of different dispositions sometimes they have a difficult time empathizing with why a person thinks or acts the way he does.

When considering marriage and becoming "one" with someone, it would seem we would want someone who fits. When doing an organ transplant, a person is acquiring a vital organ from someone else and he's going to live with that organ for the rest of his life. Nonetheless, a very crucial procedure is administered before this life-saving procedure can be done, a compatibility test. Does the blood type match? The parties must have the same blood, if not, the vital organ cannot and will not thrive. Therefore, this limits who can be qualified donors.

This same logic can be applied to finding a partner or mate with whom to spend the rest of our lives. Someone who has the same "blood". Someone where the vital essence of who we are is compatible and not rejected. Someone who's mental, intellectual, spiritual and/or emotional DNA is like ours. All the other commonplaces in life like, jobs, education, hobbies and personal interests can vary, similar interests and areas of enjoyment can serve as enhancements. The person does not have to be a clone but perhaps a mere reflection. Areas where they differ, it should add and not subtract from the relationship.

If we explored this thought, then perhaps it unlocks the key as to why people "fall in love" with who they do. At whatever phases we find ourselves in our development and evolution as a people, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, we are perhaps more drawn to those who reflect us at those stages. Sometimes this is good and sometimes it is not. If you keep falling in love with a certain "type" of person, look at where you are in life and what you are emanating.

People usually keep company with like-minded people. If you see mediocrity in your life then perhaps, I can almost guarantee, you are not only surrounding yourself with mediocre people but somehow you have fallen into the snare of mediocrity yourself. Mediocrity is easily viewed in a person's life because it produces stagnation and stunts growth, it lacks the fruit of progression and ambition. Nonethless, if you know that's not who you are, you will probably fall in love with someone who you see a "true reflection" of who you see yourself as. We can love endless amounts of people but we generally don't fall in love as easily. Being in love has "staying power".

Sometimes people may say, "why do I keep attracting crazy people?" Perhaps, there's something you're emanating that says that you have toleration for crazy people or that you are crazy yourself. (smile) If you look at your dating resume and if you see common trends then perhaps that's what you're emanating or you are just following the basic scientific theory of opposites attract. If you place value on things such as education, self-improvement, family, spirituality, you will probably be attracted to people who share those values.

People, I believe, want to live in harmony. If you are not at harmony with yourself then perhaps you are attracting people of the same spirit. If you are needy perhaps you are attracting needy people. If you have an ill attitude and unrelenting baggage from your past perhaps you are attracting the same. We create most of the drama in our lives by the way we handle people and process our own emotions and thoughts.

This is not to say that "falling in love" can be put into some "absolute" irrefutable theory. We love who we love, we don't have to rationalize it or explain it. However, isn't it interesting to think that perhaps who we are "in love "with is a direct reflection of ourselves? Sometimes we can search the world to find that which is compatible to us, and when we return to our starting place, we are looking right back at ourselves. God sees his reflection in who he chose to love, us. The same can apply to husband to wife, parent to child and friend to friend. In love, we usually find ourselves and the first love is self love. That's how we survive.

Loving A Stranger

The world mourns the death of a 20th and 21st century iconographic musical and entertainment genius, Michael Jackson. Death, whether sudden or expected, is always a tough reality to accept. Nonetheless, it's an inevitable part of a gift we have called life.

There are millions who are mourning the death of a man they never met. They are crying tears around the globe and saluting him because he touched their lives. He touched their lives with his pursuit of his passion, music. When we are born, we are born with gifts and talents. Some of us have the opportunity of sharing those with hundreds, thousands or millions of people. Whatever the case, our gifts to the world are mere extensions of us. Good fruit comes good trees, yet trees do get worn and torn from the hardships of life.

There are millions right now who can say they "love" this passing icon. Why love "just an entertainer"? Why love anyone for that fact? Why love a man who had what seems so much "baggage"? It wasn't his baggage that made us dance, sing or rejoice, it was his gifts. We love just because it's God nature on the inside of us. We are made in the image and likeness of God. God is love. We don't need someone to teach us how to love, it's embedded in our spiritual DNA. We can love "strangers" because their gifts and talents have blessed us, made us happy, made us smile, sparked good memories, encouraged us during a rough episode in our lives, exhorted us past our present and gave us hope for our tomorrow.

Love isn't deep, we make it deep. Can we love flawed beings? Everyone born is flawed, our parents, teachers, ministers, friends, politicians and etc. Charisma, gifts or talents doesn't make them deities of perfection. God created flawed beings that he would love. He loves us everyday regardless of, just because. Although we may have insights to a person's vices, flaws, indiscretions, weaknesses, brokenness, or sins, doesn't mean we can't love them. Love doesn't need permission. Love says, "I know you are an imperfect being, yet and still, I can look beyond that and still say I love you."

Intuition is a Powerful Resource

Intuition is the act of knowing or sensing something without using rational processes, a sense of something deducible although not proven as fact. Intuition is discerning the truth about something without knowing the play-by-play details. In layman terms, intuition is our "gut feeling". Sometimes it's wrong but a lot of times it's right. Both men and women have it, but it seems to more denominate in those who are keen to detail and very aware of their environments. Women, by nature, are "gatherers", gathering general information (details). Men, on the other hand, are "hunters", focusing on specific information (headliners). Nonetheless, we both have the abilities to perceive and discern.

Sometimes, we allow our emotions to cloud our better judgment for various reasons. We want to see and believe the best. Nonetheless, life is a cycle of patterns and once you see a pattern being established, turn on your "amber" alert. It's time to proceed with caution. Whatever is your natural proclivity to do, put the brakes on. If you are a generous person, be circumspect about what you are giving and to whom you are giving. People don't really mean any harm but by nature are self-serving. If they see something good that can benefit them, they will jump on it. Nonetheless, this can be imprudent behavior and once a person has marred someone's opinion, it's hard to reverse.

Once we sit, watch and intake various situations and circumstances, we will learn more about people than their words and actions could ever express about them. People are living books and become easy to read the more time you spend with them. Some people are constantly processing the world through the visual. They can channel what they hear but fine tune what they see in living-color. It's almost like being able to read people's minds and motives.

Once you sense something from the onstart nip it in the bud, it's easier done in the beginning. Nonetheless, if you get in deeper and still see something is going to potentially hurt you or others, you can, with a more concerted effort, still be victorious. Never become a victim, you can have victory in every situation. Kindness is a virtue, don't let someone exploit your kindness as a weakness and then leave you full of bitterness. Intuition, I am convinced is a powerful resource and gift from God. Use it as much as possible so you can sharpen your skills. Not only will you be blessed but others in your life as well.

Fathers Are Nurturers Too!

I would like to take this opportunity to salute all fathers who are their children’s DAD. Any male with reproductive organs can procreate a child; it’s biological. That's the easiest part. Now the real work comes with fathering or what I will call "being a Dad". Dads nurture their children. The process of nurturing children is not biological. Anyone can nurture a child whether they are his offspring or not. To nurture crosses many verticals in life like social, spiritual, financial, intellectual and emotional.

Some believe that men don’t know how to nurture or are incapable. This is a misnomer. God, our Father, is the ultimate Nurturer. He created male kind with unlimited abilities that reflect His nature. To nurture by definition means: to feed and protect, to support and encourage during the period of training and development, to bring up, rearing. I am blessed with a wonderful example of a father's ability to nurture. My Dad raised me, single-handedly, from the age of 5 months old.

Although this is a rarity, there are many men who are nuturing their children and perhaps someone else's, whether they are single, married or divorced. During the month of May, never-ending showers of accolades are given to mothers everywhere for what they do and who they are in their children's lives. I am a mother of two and I thoroughly enjoy that celebratory occasion. I find it very encouraging and rewarding. Nonetheless, a mother's love is not greater than a father's love, maybe expressed differently but not superior. We all should strive to have God's kind of love, Agape. Agape love is unconditional. Agape says "I love you" regardless...

In the Bible, we have countless examples of God's, the Father's, love and also other great men. I want to tell you today, those same great men exist today. I see them all around me. There is none who has mastered perfect parenting except for God, but there are those who strive towards being the best examples they can be for their children .

Here are 35 things I learned from my Dad as a woman:

1. How to be a person of more actions and less words
2. How to provide for myself and be provided for
3. How to aim high with faith in God's ability to see me through
4. How to accomplish without excuses or hindrances
5. How to submit to and respect authority
6. How to prioritize my goals and plans in life
7. How to love God, myself and others
8. How to act like a "Lady"
9. How to defend myself from broken people
10. How to be my children's number one advocate
11. How to express my ideas and beliefs
12. How to be grounded and principled
13. The importance of a "good name", from credit to reputation
14. How to say "I'm sorry"
15. How to allow myself room to grow throughout life
16. How to never cease learning
17. How to have my own fashion sense and style
18. How to be equipped for all seasons
19. How to be domesticated, cook, clean, change a tire, decorate, be a handyman
20. How to give and what to give
21. What value I have and what not to accept
22. How to be loyal, regardless of fault or blame
23. How to be quiet
24. When to speak up
25. How to not to be needy for others' acceptance
26. How to delay not deny gratification
27. How to be an example for my children
28. How to lead and when to follow
29. How to discern others motives towards me
30. How to enjoy life
31. How to appreciate things and people
32. How protect my children
33. How to be content whether I'm abase or abound
34. How to bounce back
35. How to be logical and rationalize

Your Time Is Now

God is methodical and strategic. He doesn't just hap hazardously do anything. When studying the Bible, one must pay close attention to the number sequencing of his methods. This is not to say to worship numbers, order and sequence but to know and understand that God has precise timing and an ordering system.

With this knowledge, we can move forth from the misnomer that we are just living day-to-day on our own time. We have plans and goals and these are great tools to make better use of your time. Nevertheless, we have to realize that every moment we live is precious. It is a gift from God and we have to be good stewards of ALL that God gives us.

Sometimes when we pray and cry out to God for deliverance, provision, clarity and etc...we most often times don't see the instantaneous manifestations of his answers. Yet, trust and believe, he has heard your cries, pleas and supplications. He answered you before you even asked, just like he architected the plan for salvation through Christ before the foundations of the Earth were created, yes before we sinned. When he created us and he knew us even in our mothers' wombs. He knew our personalities, temperaments, abilities, and talents before a piece of paper stamped our birth date.

We have to develop a sensitivity to God's prompting and to know when he has manifested the answers to our prayers. We ask for a lot, yet and still, at times, we aren't aware when he has answered. Perhaps, we don't quite like his answer because it goes against the grain in us, it exposes us and shows where we need some tweaking, or the timing is in conflict with our plans or what we have going on. God's blessings are fail-proof. If God is guiding you into a certain direction, then believe that he also has provision awaiting you there. Sometimes we hinder the manifestations of the fulfillment of our answered prayers by:

1. Being Disobedient to The Word of God- God has standards and procedures and they are expressed in His Word. When we go against them, we won't be necessarily denied because God is faithful and just to forgive IF we repent, but things can be delayed.

2. Being Full of Fear- Fear immobilizes because it's weighed down by caveats of uncertainty, conjecture, presumptions of failure or things not working out for your good.

3. Holding Past Baggage-Sometimes we have wounds that haven't healed from our pasts. God is a healer. He requires for us to be whole, but we are going to have to drop any emotional, mental or behavioral baggage from the past. When wounds have healed they often leave scars. Scars are great icebreakers for you sharing your testimony of how you survived and grew. Nonetheless, active or dormant wounds mean that there is still pain there. It needs to be fully exposed so you can heal, yet we can't heal alone. We must put ourselves in environments and situations in which we allow the healing process to take place.

4. Not Prepared to Receive-We pray to God because we innately believe that he will hear us and answer us. However as time goes on , we get complacent in our day-to-day existence and sometimes forget that we have to do ALL we can do. We have to prepare ourselves. To some this might be working on finances, going back to school, relocating, rearranging priorities, redefining relationships, fine tuning your spiritual man and etc...It's important to be prepared because "what if" God's manifestations to your prayers appear tomorrow, will you be ready to receive them it to their fullest or will things be out of order? If it is the latter, that will cause strain and delay you from fully whole-heartedly enjoying your answered prayers.

5. Responding Carnally to Spiritual Attacks- Anything that is of God and according to His purpose is going to have some kind of internal or external challenges. Nonetheless, watch where or who you run to when problems arise. We have to kill bad thoughts, behavior and habits. We have to watch how we respond and be prepared to make adjustments within ourselves.

6. Not Willing to Sacrifice- We have to be able to sacrifice that which cost us something. This may manifest in our possessions, relationships, money, activities or etc...This is going to hurt but the reward is going to be greater than the pain.

Once we have identified what our painpoints are...then correct them NOW! Not a year from now, months from now, but right NOW. The more we continuously sow towards a thing, the more we will reap the harvest thereof. This applies for both good and bad things. I consider myself a "good" planner and sometimes I plan myself through transitions as far as a year or two out from something actually occurring BUT when God's spirit quickens me, I have learned to move.

To some your good and perfect gifts are there waiting to be manifested and to others they have manifested. You have your plan and your timing and God has his. Even within our best attempt, we cannot outdo God when it comes to orchestrating that which would empower and prosper our lives. We cannot allow ourselves to be worldly, moving back and forth in our emotions...we have to stand on God's Word and the revelation knowledge he has given us about himself, how he operates and what he has for us.

It's not a question of "if" God answered your prayers...it's a question of "when" are you going to embrace his answers! Do it now!

Storms Come, Yet & Still We Remain

"Many evils confront the (consistently) righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all" Ps. 34:19

Life is a summation of challenges and victories, valleys and peaks! It doesn't matter how many challenges you overcome, you have to realize that there will always be more. Don't be discouraged or fretful that you have challenges, obstacles and storms that are trying to prevail against you. This is a natural part of life, especially when you know who you are in Christ. The road of least resistance is probably an indicator you are traveling down the wrong road. Yet every challenge can produce great victories! Stay out loud, "This storm WILL pass and I WILL be the standing". Victory is always available, just grab hold to it!

We shouldn't be as nearly concerned with the challenges and catastrophic events that occur in our lives, but more so our responses to them. It is within our response, that our faith is developed and matured, that our testimonies are birthed. Faith boldly speaks to the "present and future" with the assurance and knowledge of the "past". We have faith in God because of what he has done. Since he has intervened before, why should he not again? God is stable and constant, he is not like man, forever wavering in his emotions towards us. He loves us now, even though he knows what we will do tomorrow. This is an empowering assurance which should prompt us to step up to the storms in our lives and rebuke them. We may not be able to stop them from rising up against us, but we can take dominion over them once they come!

You Deserve To Know...

You deserve to know that you are loved,

that if you left this world tomorrow

someone's heart would have a missing plug.

You deserve to know that you are forgiven,

that you don't have a patent on making mistakes

but life goes on and you're only going to get better with time.

You deserve to know that happiness is available to you,

it's not a destination but a mindset and

you should take it wherever you go.

You deserve to know that you are set free,

you are not held hostage to anything past or present,

as long as you have a choice, choose life

and live it to the fullest.

You deserve to know that you make a difference in this world,

you are a gift so special to the world,

that God thought it couldn't do without you.

We Are God's Hands

I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread. ~King David, the Psalmist (NIV)

I once was young, now I'm a graybeard— not once have I seen an abandoned believer, or his kids out roaming the streets. Every day he's out giving and lending, his children making him proud.~King David, the Psalmist (The Message)

I have heard this passage of scripture for over 20 years used as an affirmation, positive profession of God's provision in the lives of his children, us the believers. It can and should continue to be bookmarked into every believer's psyche the unrelenting characteristics of God's love, provision and protection for those who believe in him and on him.

In addition to that, we have a responsibility. King David in this passage was not prophesying or making a positive profession. He was remarking on what he had seen with his own eyes. He is saying during the course of his life, from a boy until his more seasoned age, he had not witnessed God forsaking his own or their children. He never witnessed a believer standing outside with a sign reading "Will Beg for Bread".

Why? Because believers were doing their parts to support one another. God uses people, every day, all day to bless others. Bottom line! He gives us preferential standing, called favor, and with it comes provision, protection and opportunities to excel. We are his hands and feet in the Earth. When we see someone that God has placed in our circle of life in need, they should not have to beg. We are vessels of provision for them.

Seasons change in life. There will be seasons of plenty and seasons of lack. We must sow seeds during our seasons of plenty so that when our seasons of lack come, we won't be affected because we will be reaping our harvests from what we have already sown. I'm sure that King David did his part as king, citizen and believer.

Let this scripture not just be an affirmation used to profess God's provision in someone's life or your own. Let it be a call to action, a call to duty. To whom much is given, much is likewise required.

The Bill of Rights of Love

"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies."--Aristotle

"Love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love."--Erich Fromm

One of the most dynamic emotions one will experience in his/her lifetime is love. There are varying experiences and degrees of love but an intimate lifelong love between two souls appears to be the most coveted. At first glance it doesn't seem very hard to achieve in a world full of incredible people. Nonetheless, that type of love is a rare commodity. It cannot be substituted or mistaken.

Love has to go beyond an emotion because we as humans can learn in time how to control our emotions, turn them on and off. Love has to become an atmosphere and environment experienced mind, body and soul. If it is left in the emotional realm then sometimes you will feel it and sometimes you won't. Love isn't schizophrenic and doesn't alter itself due to external stimuli. You're not in love with someone and meet someone the next day and now your love is in question. You're not in love with someone but don't demonstrate it in words, deeds and actions. With this kind of love comes commitment and responsibility. If you aren't giving or receiving both then you really need to step back and re-examine the relationship.

You are a gift from God and you deserve to be treated as such. Different people like different things. You're not a gift to everyone but to that someone special. There is someone's life you fit into perfectly, and you both know it and feel it. If only you feel it, then don't try to make a square peg fit into a circle.

In this phenomenal experience there are things we all have a right to know and feel. Here are a few:

1. You have the right to know you are irreplaceable and that you have an immeasurable value.

2. You have the right to know come hell or hot water you will have someone that has your back.

3. You have a right to know that even if your worst secrets were exposed that someone else's love would cover you.

4. You have a right to know that what you share is consistent and doesn't fluctuate with moods, circumstances and opinions.

5. You have a right to know that in a world full of beautiful people that someone thinks you are the most beautiful, from the inside out.

6. You have a right to know that if you died tomorrow that although life goes on, someone's life would be filled with an emptiness that only you can fill.

7. You have a right to hear the words "I love you" as well as to see them in action.

8. You have a right to feel safe and secure and not threaten or disregarded.

9. You have a right to feel that there are no mountains or valleys that can prevail against your love.

10. You have a right to feel you are respected and admired above all others.

All of the above, are not just for you but also for the other person with whom you are in love. Love is a never-ending ring of reciprocity. If there is no reciprocity then something is broken and it will hinder you from experiencing the entirety of love and its overwhelming benefits.

Almost seems like a tough order to fill. That's where faith and patience come in. Sometimes we settle for less and see what we want to see because of the loneliness and desires in our lives. Sometimes we experience the "it seems to good to be true" moments. When all the infatuation smoke clears then we are left with a substance. This substance can either be broken in time or withstand the tests of time. Only you know the answer...but in whatever road you choose, just remember your love rights.